Managing the Mayhem

This one goes out to all my fellow work-from-home parents with tiny tots. How do we do it? How do we manage the mayhem that has become our home and office? Trust me, I am still in the middle of it, but I have found a few things that help me keep my sanity and find balance in the world of mom-hood and career.

To give you a little background to my personal story, my little dude is 19 months old as I write this. His name is Hank, and he is incredibly rambunctious, active, joyful, playful, and vocal. He has a few actual English words in his vocabulary but mostly it is made up of a mythical language that only he (and sometimes I think the dogs) can understand. And he is babbling constantly. The babbling only stops when something doesn't go his way and then it turns into a high-pitched growl and the infamous, loathed toddler scream.

Daily, he is pretty great about his routines and I think finds comfort in them. It's when the routine gets disrupted that all hell breaks loose. A couple of weeks ago we added a third half-day to daycare so now he goes Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and gives Mama a break for 5 hours each day. Hallelujah. Now, don't get me wrong, I indescribably love this child, I would do anything for him and his happiness but parents need breaks, too! Switching perspectives for a moment, I have a full-time career as a COO for Night Out with "The Girls" and The Breast Education, an educational wellness company specializing in early breast cancer detection and breast health education. I have always had the pleasure and flexibility of working from home, very fortunate in that way. So on one side, being able to be home and work in my own space with Hank running around is wonderful. On the other side, it becomes near impossible to focus on just the task at hand when he is desperate to be doing whatever I am doing. In addition to my full-time position, I have my lifestyle blog which requires attention, focus, and creativity. Three things that by the end of the day just aren't abundant so I have to choose where my waning energy will be spent. Top that off with making dinner, spending time with my husband when he gets home from work, getting Hank ready for bed, and finally giving my dogs and cat the much-deserved snuggles, my tank is empty.

I have had to find some middle ground. I needed to find ways to balance giving my job the attention it requires and deserves as well as being an attentive mom. Here is what I have come up with so far. It's a work in progress but I hope this will give you a bit of comfort if you're in the same boat:

1. Planning the day - I am a big fan of planners and journals and I just recently realized that having one that incorporates all of my "hats" and multiple to-do lists is crucial for me to feel in control. I like to take a few minutes before I go to bed to look at my day and map some things out in my planner. I write down my top to-do's for: Work Family Home Self (The order is not significant as I believe all of them are equally important!) Examples for each look like: Work - finish XYZ project, return emails, meet with XYZ Family - the schedule date night babysitter, make doctors appointments, pay bills Home - Make a grocery list, do dishes, clean out the closet Self - Manicure, write a blog, take a bubble bath

Mapping this out gives me a sense of control and preparedness for the day ahead. It also allows me to focus on only the things I wrote down as the most important in each category and as other things come up (that aren't urgent) they can be added to the following day.

2. Try not to multi-task - I find this near impossible on some days but I do try my best to stay focused on one thing at a time. Especially when it comes to my almost-two-year-old needing my attention, it's easiest to look at my clock and plan for 10 minutes of uninterrupted playtime with Hank vs. trying to play with him while responding to emails. By doing this, I fill the needs of my son and find that if I spend that dedicated time with him he is much better when I step back to my computer to finish the work. My day can get a little choppy of mom to work, then work to mom and back again but I am more efficient, effective, and productive when I focus on one responsibility at a time.

3. Ask for help - Oooh this one is way easier said than done but I have never regretted asking for help when needing it. It may take me until I am at my boiling point but hey no one is perfect. I have come to realize that asking for help doesn't only have to be for the "big stuff" like being away from house and needing a sitter. It is about the little things, too. Things like asking my husband to give Hank a bath while I sneak away to drink a shot of whiskey and take a breath. Or it could be asking my bestie to bring us some necessities while we were sick with covid. It could also be calling my girlfriends who are also moms and asking their advice on how in the F do we get through this?!

The important thing is that you take a moment to ask for the help you need. Don't just assume all of the roles, all of the chores, all of the tasks ALL OF THE TIME. As I write this I am committing it to memory to add to my daily affirmations when I am on the verge of screaming into a pillow or crying silently while Hank takes a nap.

You've got this. I've got this. We've got this. I hope these three things can be useful to you and if you have other tips/comments/feedback please share them with me! It takes a village, right?!